The gist of this problem has been summed up by a career journalist at the top of his tree with an international news magazine. ‘I could see myself clearly. Good job, good life. But I thought, now what? I am forty-three, I have what I have, but is it what I want for the next twenty years? I took fright. I was trapped by a life I had created and could see no way of changing it. I was trapped. . . therefore I must be a failure.’
To anyone standing on the sidelines and hearing such self-doubts expressed by an obviously mature and well-adjusted man, these improbable sentiments could seem foolish, frivolous or weak-minded nonsense. How can one participate in a conversation punctuated with Is there nothing more ahead of me?’ or ‘I am a failure, I have never achieved anything’ when the speaker is a healthy man about forty?
Most people’s reaction is to tell the man to pull himself together and not to talk such nonsense — only someone with an understanding of the irrational babbling of a menopausal man looking for help can be the listening pillar of support he seeks.
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