The result is bitter, traumatic failure. Tom, who is anxious about his sexual performance, has also had just too much alcohol, so that he is depressed, rather than stimulated, by it. He again fails to get an erection, and his anxiety is magnified.
Communication between the couple ceases. Tom wonders if his problem has happened to any of his friends, and tries to find out, with no success. He visits his doctor, convinced that his sexual failure is due to illness, only to find he is healthy. (He does not mention his erectile failure and his doctor does not enquire if he has a sexual problem.)
By now Tom is very anxious about his sexuality. He feels that the only way he can avoid the emotional trauma of failure is to avoid sex. He increases his work-load, he increases his alcohol consumption, he develops an addiction for late-night television and for early-morning jogging – anything to avoid being put in a situation of needing to get an erection. Meanwhile, his wife begins to wonder if he has a mistress, or whether she no longer attracts him because she is growing old. She becomes suspicious and irritable, and to try to prove that Tom still loves her, makes tentative demands that they have sex. But neither of them discusses their problem, each is too concerned with his or her own reaction, and besides is embarrassed to talk about sex.
*244/16/1*
