It is the part of a mature person not to expect too much of life but to be well satisfied if he enjoys a steady flow of moderate pleasures against a background of general contentment. If one understands the sex impulse, he will realize that the demand for violent and ever novel pleasures in connection with it is a mental pattern formed during a period of sexual deprivation, which only causes unhappiness if carried over into marriage. The longing for novelty and adventure in romance and the expectancy of high moments of overwhelming emotion are products of the barriers and inhibitions between the sexes and are only incidental to the process of coming to know and to be intimate with another person. Hence these must not be expected to remain in full force after that process has been completed. Unfortunately, however, our romantic experiences tend to make us feel that these incidental elements of novelty and devastating emotion are essential in love. So when some persons find that these pleasures constantly slip away from them, they think they have lost the essence of love, and they blame life for cheating them. On the other hand, one who understands the nature of these experiences does not demand the impossible and does not go through life selfishly and petulantly seeking novelty, like a child, but schools his desires to accord with his knowledge of reality. And one of the chief features of the reality of sex is the inexorable psychological law of diminishing pleasure, where pleasure is thought of too narrowly as consisting only of excitement or of the emotions of new experience.